Happy Birthday, Mom!

It's my Mom's birthday! I've written many, many posts about how amazing and loving my mother is, and you should read them (here, here, here, AND here). I always read through them again prior to writing these birthday posts, and it just reminds how lucky and truly blessed I am to not only call her my Mom, but also one of my best friends!

Kind, thoughtful, supportive, loving. These are just a couple of the many words that can be used to describe who my mother is. But one word that stands out above the others: selfless. My mother constantly puts others before herself. She is always there when you need her, even when you're on the other side of the world. Life is tough sometimes, and something I know to be true is that no matter how old you get and how independent you are, sometimes you just need your Mom.

I could honestly go on forever about how much I love my mother. Family is extremely important to me, and it is the values that have been instilled in me by my parents that have really influenced the person that I am today. What I love the most about the relationship that I have with my mother is how open and honest I can be with her, and I always know that she will be there to listen, give advice (even if it isn't what I want to hear), and to no matter what love me through thick and thin. I can't emphasize enough how truly grateful I am to consider my mother a friend.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I so wish I could be there to celebrate with you! But alas, we are 36 days away from being reunited. I miss you, I love you, and I appreciate you! xoxo

5 Years.

This date always looms over me. And over the last couple of days I've been reflecting, reading old blog posts, and thinking about how I feel. Of course, I feel sad. And I always miss home more than normal today. And, I'm a little breathless and at a loss for words thinking about the reality that it has been 5 years since Grandad passed away.

How does time fly by so quickly? So much has changed in our family, and it makes me sad that he isn't here to see it. I feel like these are the best years of my life recently, and I feel like a completely different person than I was when he died. I've grown immensely, and so has our family. Huge milestones have happened, memories have been made, and journey's have been taken. And I guess I'm in this limbo of feeling sad that he is gone, but also sad that he's not here to be part of our growth. 

And for some people, being "here" doesn't have to be a physical thing. For some people, there is a stage in their mourning where they feel their loved one lost is with them spiritually or in faith. Dealing with Grandad's death has taught me even more that I don't know what I believe. It's very rare, but when I do have a dream about him, I think I feel that his presence in my dream is him being present in my life. "Spiritually." But trying to find happiness and comfort in the idea that Grandad sees what I am doing and he "knows" doesn't work for me. I need him here, in the flesh. I need him here to talk to. I need him here so I can see him. 

Last summer, our family had a little reunion in Saint John. Uncle David came East from Vancouver, and before I fled back to China, we all gathered for fun, food, and family. This. This is when I feel Grandad with us. In the way Uncle Mark smiles and hugs me, the way Brad laughs, the way we dance like fools on the back deck busting a gut laughing, the stories Uncle David tells about their childhood. But most of all, I feel him with us the most when I see how happy my Grandmom is in those moments.  None of this would be our reality if it weren't for her and Grandad. Our successes and growth are reflected in their relationship, their leadership, and their love. 

I love my Grandad so much. I miss him so much. And he continues to be one of the greatest motivators in my life. Always and forever. 

Thanksgiving 2015.

This year's Thanksgiving was a bit different than my past Thanksgiving's in China. Usually, it's surrounded by a number of people, involving a potluck, and getting to try all kinds of different foods that people associate with their traditional Thanksgiving dinners. This year, I was kind of sad at thinking I wouldn't get to take part in that tradition in my third year living in Beijing. In fact, up until the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving weekend, I had zero plans to celebrate Thanksgiving. I told Amanda how I felt about it, and in an instant we had plans to celebrate Thanksgiving that coming Saturday!

We called a local restaurant and ordered a turkey (which may or may not have cost $123) that they would cook for us, including the gravy. We decided we'd cook potatoes, green beans, squash, and potato dressing. There would be pickles, and cheese, and apple pie with ice cream for dessert. Wine would be poured and games would be played, and we would go around the table and tell each other what we were thankful for. We decided we would just have a small dinner for four to make it more intimate and family-like. So it was me, Ken, and the Zhang's. They were gracious enough to host us! 

 

It was a great Thanksgiving in Beijing! We laughed and reminisced and shared stories. It made me so excited for Christmas time and getting to go home. All I could think about (besides how fortunate I am to have such amazing friends in Beijing to celebrate this Canadian holiday with) was my family and how much they mean to me. I have said it time and time again on this blog, but I am so thankful and blessed to come from such an amazing, rock-solid family. We are so close and love each other unconditionally. They are the greatest support system and I am filled with so much excitement to think that after 2 years away for the holidays, this year I'll get to sit around that table on Christmas day sharing in the joys of being together and and the warmth that comes with the Christmas season.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. I am thankful for my family and my friends that feel like family (Amanda said this at our Thanksgiving dinner, and it sums up perfectly how I feel about my friends), my students, getting to travel and see the world, FaceTime & Skype, good food, and where I come from.

I know it's a couple of days late, but Happy Thanksgiving!

PS - Read about what my students are thankful for and my Thanksgiving getaway to Vancouver in 2012. 

Summer Recap.

This summer was a WHIRLWIND. And that's kind of an understatement. I just don't know any other word that can convey what this summer was. But before I continue, let me back up a bit. 

Last summer (my first summer back in Canada after living in China for year) was also a bit busy. I visited friends and family, went on two trips to PEI, and spent time running the roads of New Brunswick. I remember reflecting on the summer after returning to Beijing and thinking to myself (and also saying out loud) how "Next summer I'm going to spend much more time RELAXING!" HA! HA! HA! But, in my defence, I didn't exactly know 100% that I'd be transferring schools at the end of that school year which drastically changed the length of my summer vacation this year. Transferring from my prior school of two years, BCCSC, to its sister school in the city, CISB, meant that my school calendars changed. My old school wrapped up around the 10th-ish of July and started up again at the beginning of September of each year. My new school wraps up around mid-June and opens it's doors to a new school year mid-August. This means that my summer was cut in half. Instead of having the normal 7-8 weeks off, I was down to 4. I know some people out there probably are thinking "OH, poor Melissa. 4 weeks off from work and boohoo-ing about it!" But teaching is a unique job (and I'll open that can of worms another day) and when you've been living on the other side of the world for a full year, the more time at home the better! So 4 weeks was exciting because I was going home, but also a bit sad because I knew it would go by in a flash and that I wouldn't have time to truly relax and take in the gloriousness that is summer vacation! 

So, there's the back story. 

I had many goals for summer vacation that I wrote up here. Let's recap! 

+seeing my family and us all being together in one place.

This was a success on SO many levels! We gathered to celebrate my Grammy Dickinson's 80th birthday and even had family photos done. My cousin Michelle and I made comment on how we don't remember a time with ALL of us being in one photo together. It was a milestone birthday for Grammy and it was captured in photos which I am so glad we have now! 

My Uncle David also came to visit from Vancouver this summer! I was so excited about this - I love catching up and visiting with this man. The final weekend I spent in NB before departing for China was spent in Saint John. We gathered as a Farwell clan and had such an amazing day/night. We did a scavengar hunt of downtown Saint John then had a Mexican feast for dinner back at my Uncle Mark and Aunt Carolin's. The dancing and laughter that happened induced by some fine tequila was gut-busting funny and a memory I won't soon forget. 

Seeing my family and us all being together in one place = CHECK! 

+ hugs from my parents. They give the most amazing hugs!

The hugs that I got from both my Mom and Dad at the airport when I arrived super late (or super early, depending on how you look at it) were THE BEST! I cried, of course! I just love them so much and feel so grateful to come from such a rock-solid, beautiful family. 

Hugs from my parents = CHECK!

+ sitting on our back deck, sippin' a Dooryard, breathing in the fresh summer air, listening to the sounds of my quiet town.

While I didn't have much down time at home this summer on my back deck, I was able to relax and enjoy a Dooryard or two back there. No photos, so you'll just have to take my word for it! Instead, I'll show you a photo of my view when I was sipping those glorious, citrus-filled, Dooryards.

Sitting on our back deck, sippin' a Dooryard, breathing in the fresh summer air, listening to the sounds of my quiet town = CHECK!

+ bonfires with neighbours and good friends.

One of my all-time favourite summer activities is camp fires. Partly because of the s'mores, but mostly because of the people who are there and the conversations we have around the fire. Every summer, the Johnston's (my second family) and the Dickinson's take a scoot across the border to Maine and go to this absurdly oversized serving "diner-type" restaurant called Grammie's in Linius. We eat ungodly amounts of food and then gorge on ice cream and head back home for a bonfire in our backyard. It's become a summertime tradition that I always look forward to and we always make time for. I've grown up with this family, and (Little) Brad and Nicky are like two more younger brothers to me. Rob and Tracey treat me and (Big) Brad like their own. I love them!

Bonfires with neighbours and good friends = CHECK! 

+ traveling to Fredericton every chance I get to spend time with the best friends in the world.
While I would have liked to get there more often, I did get to Fredericton a couple of times. I got to celebrate my best friends 27th birthday with her and her friends. We even had a couple classic sleepovers! And saw Magic Mike XXL together on the whim (and was pleasantly, AND HAPPILY, surprised by the quality!) I got to take part in another best friends wedding (more on that in a minute). I visited with friends at the market and in downtown Fredericton. Sometimes it was when I passing through from one city back to Florenceville, other times it was to stay a couple of days. I'm just so happy I got the chance to see them! My friends mean the world to me, and I am so thankful that we can be apart for so long and still manage to keep in touch and pick up exactly where we left off! 

Traveling to Fredericton every chance I get to spend time with the best friends in the world = CHECK!

+ Amanda and Tony's wedding!
This was a much anticipated event this summer! Amanda asked me to be one of her bridesmaids in her wedding and I was happy and excited to accept the honour. Kudos to her for planning a wedding from China that would happen in Canada. I spent an evening or two with her planning and helping her to make some phone calls to businesses at home and while sometimes we laughed and broke out in to hysterics, there was also an equal amount of frustrations and annoyances. Regardless of all that, the day of was magical, beautiful, and unique. 

It happened in Fredericton at O'Dell Park. The day of was a bit chilly, but it didn't rain as forecasted so that was a big YAY! It was a very small wedding with family and close friends. It was intimate and special, and I shed quite a few tears when they exchanged their vows. What an honour to watch them say "I Do!" Happiness and love were exuding from both of them. I already knew that they loved each other, but watching them that day I could tell just how deep their love really is. I could tell you so much more about the wedding, but you should read it from the bride's mouth/blog herself (and here, here, and here!) 

PS - the beautiful photos were done by Kandise Brown. Talented woman!

Amanda and Tony's wedding! = CHECK

+ Snooty Fox!

Snooty Fox is one of my favourite places to go in Fredericton. I spent many a Wednesday (and Tuesday, and Saturday) night at Snooty Fox during my university days. I always enjoy going back there when I visit Fredericton. The first time I went this summer was for Amanda and Tony's wedding. I had eaten at their reception and was too full to eat the spinach and artichoke dip I ordered. I had two bites and remember crying to my friends that I wasn't going to be able to finish it. I was able to go back again with Mom, Grandmom, Uncle David, and Sara for lunch and ordered the dip again and finished the whole thing washed down with a Dooryard. Success! 

Snooty Fox = CHECK! (And another photo cred to Kandise Brown!)

+ driving! I can't wait to be behind the wheel again.
The jamming I did by myself and with others road tripping around was epic! I love driving!

Driving! = CHECK!

+ PEI with the family - golfing, eating, and creating new memories.
I love that at 26 for me and 23 for Brad, we still go on family vacations. He and I are both in the beginning years of our careers, I live in China and he travels all over the province, but at some point in the summer we are still able to all get together, just the original four, and get away for a couple of days. This year we headed back to PEI and stayed at the same place in Cavendish that we did last summer. Brad and Dad went deep sea fishing again, Mom and I went and saw "Anne the Musical", we ate Cows Ice Cream, and dined at some "new-to-us" restaurants. We had a round of golf and I ended up laying down on the rough of the 18th hole sulking because I couldn't hit "the god-damn ball!" Mom and I explored Victoria by the Sea and talked about how next summer we want to try kayaking. We found us a lighthouse, and Brad got offered a new job on one of our drives. It was a great vacation away! 

PEI with the family - golfing, eating, and creating new memories = CHECK!

+ seeing my Mom for the first time with her new knee! I can't wait to see her walking around pain free for the first time in many years!
WOW! After Mom had her knee replacement surgery in the spring, I only heard about the progress and had to envision it in my mind. All I could see is how I had left her at the end of Summer 2014 - in pain, stiff, and struggling to get around. When I arrived home and watched her walk around the airport, I had to squint to see the slight limp she had (and she only had it because she'd been standing for quite some time). As the summer went on, I watched her climb stairs, get in and out of cars without any pain, and go for walks around the block! What a difference. I'm so happy for her!

Seeing my Mom for the first time with her new knee! = CHECK!

+ Road trip to Nova Scotia to visit A & C.
I worked with Andrew and Christina during my first year living in Beijing. We became good friends during the second half of the school year. Christina was an amazing friend, but also offered me some great advice when it came to teaching and the job. I was really sad when they decided to move home back to Nova Scotia permanently but super excited for their new chapter. So, this summer Ken and I made plans to spend a couple of days in Dartmouth visiting with them. We made the road trip and helped them move to their new HOUSE! So happy to have helped them, so happy we got to visit, and so happy to call them my friends!

Road trip to Nova Scotia to visit A & C = CHECK!

+ visits from Uncle David.
I was so excited when Grandmom told me that Uncle David was coming to New Brunswick this summer! He planned his trip so he'd be in New Brunswick while I was home too. I was able to spend 5 days in Saint John before going back to China visiting with him and the rest of the family. We got to explore a new part of New Brunswick (St. Martin's) to us, searched tirelessly for a lighthouse and FOUND ONE FINALLY, we had some yummy meals, we had some great conversations, reminisced, and laughed A LOT. From now on when I hear "Benny and the Jets", I will remember him dancing with Brad, Rebecca, Rachel, and I on the deck. What a night! 

Visits from Uncle David = CHECK!

It's hard to believe I jammed all of this in to 4 weeks. I didn't have a single day where I had NOTHING planned. I wish I could have visited with more people, I wish I could have gone to more places, I wish I could have had more spare time to myself and relax. However, you can't have your cake and eat it to (speaking of which, why the hell not!  This cliche, while I understand it (I think), still doesn't make sense to me. I eat cake all the time! That means I have it, right? Ouch! My head...).

I love my home. I love it so much! It's always amazing to go home again. And this year, I'm COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! Oh, I can't even begin to express how extremely excited I am for this. It's definitely it's own blogpost soon to come! 71 days, people! 71 days! 

Happy Birthday, Brad!

Today my brother turns 23. He's a pretty awesome guy and and even cooler brother. You can read my past birthday blog posts to my brother here, here, and here to find out how awesome he truly is! As we grow older, my appreciation for having a younger brother also grows. 

My brother and I were VERY different people growing up. I was a "floater" (friends with people from different social circles) and a little odd. Brad was popular and a school athlete. I sang in the choir and spent my weekends at home or having movie marathons with my friends who were much like me in ways. My brother spent his weekends playing hockey or socialising with bigger groups of people. Everyone knew who Brad was, and everyone knew I was "Brad's sister." To say he and I clashed growing up is a understatement. I think I annoyed him with my personality more than he annoyed me. But maybe he'd different. I dunno? Regardless, we always supported each other, even if we didn't always show it in our words to each other. 

Today, we text each other about the happenings in our lives. We share stories about our adventures and I honestly can't remember the last time we fought. Some of that comes from the fact that we are both WAY MORE MATURE than we were 10 years ago. But I also think that we are at an age where we have truly grown to respect each other. I respect my brother for so may reasons: One of them being how quickly he had to grow up at such a young age; Moving away from home to pursue his hockey career; Despite the pressure as a teenager to go to university and get a post secondary degree, Brad never succumbed to the pressures and waited until he really knew what he wanted to do; Being able to make split-second decisions; Knowing what he wants. In ways, I consider my baby brother as one of my heroes and I try to model myself after him in ways. Like being more patient, laid back, and relaxed. I envy those characteristics of his. 

It's been a pleasure growing up with him - even if we fought like cats and dogs. And my heart gets warm and I get excited thinking about all the growing up we still get to do together as brother and sister. 

As humans, we share our lives with many different people - spouses, parents, friends. But there is something about the bond with a sibling that's it's own unique little relationship. I can't imagine my life without a little brother. 

Happy Birthday, Brad! Keep being you and being awesome. You're pretty good at it! ...Now, don't let that get to your head ;-) 

xoxo

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my Dad's birthday! I like to brag about how amazing my family is, and it is tradition that I write a little blogpost celebrating them on their birthday. For the last 3 years, I've written about how amazing and wonderful my dad is on my blog. You can read them here, here, and here. There aren't words good enough to fully encompass how much I love and appreciate my dad. The only way I can convey how much he means to me is to just simply say he truly is THE BEST DAD EVER!

Sadly, I had to leave only a few short days before Dad's birthday. However, on Saturday (the night before my flight back to Beijing), we had a wonderful, little bash with some family for my dad and Uncle Mark's birthdays. There was good tunes, plenty of cold beverages, dancing, singing, delicious food, laughter, and love. Exactly the way I like my parties. And I think most of my family would agree, a great way to celebrate these two amazing men in our lives. I am beyond happy I got to be there for it!

Dad, thanks for being you! It's exactly how I strive to live my life. I hope you have an amazing day and are spoiled and celebrated immensely - as you should be. 

I love you to the moon and back! 

xo

Melissa

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Birthday to one of the most beautiful people in my life, my mother! In case anyone who is reading this has forgotten, my mother is AH-mazing! If you need reminding, you can read about her amazingness in my previous birthday posts here, here, and here. 

My mom just had a knee replacement surgery. She is currently at home resting and recovering. I Skyped with her and Dad last night and she's doing well. She's nailing her exercises prescribed by the physiotherapist and she is up and hobbling along with a walker. She's feeling good and excited for the future and what is to come with her new knee. I wish nothing more for her than a complete change in her quality of life! 

I think one of my favourite qualities about my mother is that she is the BEST listener. And this is great news for someone like me who loves to talk. She listens to me rant. She listens to me rave. She listens to me vent. She listens to me ramble. She listens to my problems. She listens to my successes. After she finishes listening, she always comes back with the most sound advice, whether I want to hear it or not. She comforts me with her words, and that's something I'm so grateful for living on the other side of the world. I am so thankful to know that when I need her, she's always there for me. And I hope she knows I'd do the same for her in a minute!

Mom, I hope you have a fabulous birthday and you are spoiled immensely! Enjoy your lobster dinner (especially before I get home!). I'm sending you lots of love and hugs on your day. 

See you in 49 days. Love you, always and forever! 

Four Years & Breathless.

Four years.

It kind of takes my breath away to think that it's been four years since we lost Grandad to cancer. Four years since we had to say goodbye. Sometimes I can't remember what I had for lunch the day before, but I can clearly remember the sounds, sights, emotions, and feelings that I experienced in the early hours of May 9th, 2011. I can remember the sniffs and cries from myself and my family. I can still hear my Grandmom assuring my Grandad it was okay to let go. I can still feel the panic that set in to my heart when I was told it was "time." And while I'm typing this, I'm consumed with heartache and I'm experiencing a shortness of breath. And it's now that I realize I haven't experienced these feelings for quite some time. 

I think that's because when I think of my Grandad now, I don't think of his illness and demise. I remember who he was as a person. And you should all know that my Grandad was an amazing human being. Supportive, loving, and so strong! I see these same characteristics in my brother: protective and strong. I see them in my Uncle Mark: loving and supportive. And in my own father: supportive, caring, and oh so patient! 

Grandad was always so proud of his family. He was an amazing leader and support system. Today, when I look at my family and how we've grown and changed over the last four years, I only wish he could be here to see it. If I could talk to him, I would tell him so many things! But here is what I'd want him to know about his family: 

Your grandchildren have grown so much in the last four years. Brad has found a career that suits him, that he's good at, and that he loves. He is strong, protective, and has grown in to an amazing man. And our relationship as brother and sister has strengthened. We support each other and care for each other. He and dad are my rocks. They keep my panicky, over thinking mind grounded. 

Rebecca and Rachel are beautiful young ladies. They excel in so many ways: sports, academics, and just being amazing young women. I see myself in Rebecca in so many ways when I was that age. She's coming in to her own, driving a CAR, and is so mature. Rachel is a basketball superstar, has legs miles long, and is so charismatic. You would be so proud of them! 

My personal connection with Uncle David has strengthened since your passing. I've visited him twice in Vancouver, and he is making his second trip out East this summer. We send postcards, emails, and stay in touch regularly. He is an amazing human being and has taught me a lot about life, and a lot about your younger years. I'm so thankful he is a part of my life, because he reminds me so much of you. 

Mom, Dad, Uncle Mark, and Aunt Carolin are amazing parents. They are the most caring and supportive people. But above everything else, they love. The love each other, they love their children, they love their nieces and nephews, and they love Grandmom. They have taken such good care of her, looked out for her, and protected her. I think they learned from the best - YOU! 

And Grandmom. I would be lost without her! I am so proud of the strides she's made and how she has adjusted to her new lifestyle. She continues to be active, she supports our family in so many ways, and she's a pro at the computer now (It's true! Don't shake your head, Grandmom!) She is one of the strongest and most beautiful women in my life. She inspires me, and I love her with all my heart. You would be so proud of her!

You are missed every day. And everything I accomplish, every step I take and new path I explore, I think of you. I love you Grandad, always and forever. 

Love from your #1 Granddaughter. 

Your girl,

Melissa

Happy Birthday, Brad!

As my Thursday, September 11th is quickly coming to an end, it's just beginning back home in Canada. And that means that it is my "little" brother's 22nd birthday. I was sure to wish him a happy birthday in China time, and I wished him a happy birthday in Canada time, too (gotta make sure I cover all the bases because believe me, he'd hold it over my head if I forgot it...he's kinda like that!) So, I'm writing this blog post today to wish my brother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

My brother is a very chill guy. He has said on many occasions that he hates drama. Maybe that's why we clashed a little bit when we were younger, because I can be a dramatic person in that I experience my emotions on an extreme high or an extreme low. Let's just say I am an emotional person and my brother did not inherit those traits in our family genes. He is one of the most laid back, chill people I know. 

Common phrases that come out of my brothers mouth that are heard on a semi-regular basis include (but are not limited to):

"Don't worry about it so much." 

"Meh, I don't know." 

"Masel." (May as well) 

"Whatever."

"I don't care."

"Sure. Whatever." 

Despite  how furious, frustrated, and crazy it makes me feel when he rubs something off or shows no emotions of any kind, I love him nonetheless. However, after being away from home for a year in China and coming back to Canada, I experienced something with my brother that I'll remember perfectly for a long time to come. 

When I saw him for the first time this summer, I was in a bit of a daze as I had passed out on my bed from an extreme case of jet lag whilst trying to will myself to stay awake for another hour or two while I waited for him to get home from the golf course (I had already been awake for 36 hours). When mom came in to my room to wake me up (as I had instructed her to) once Brad had gotten home, I slowly got out of bed, opened my eyes and made my way to the hallway just as Brad was rounding the corner from the kitchen. We both smiled at each other and I said "Hi there!" and we hugged. I didn't cry, but I did have a big lump in my throat. And we just hugged. It was the best hug I had ever shared with my brother. He didn't get awkward and let his arms hang down while I held on tightly. He didn't sigh or huff and puff while I laid my head against his chest. He just hugged me back. And it felt SO good. (Remember, my brother doesn't reveal emotion like this very often - so it was a pleasant and welcomed surprise). We spoke for a few minutes, caught up really briefly, then I headed back to bed as my body was caving in. I walked away and turned around and said to him: "Hey. It's good to see you." And he replied with "You too." It was perfect, simple, but at the same time was full of love and warmth. I remember it perfectly. I remember the tone of voice, the way things were said and what exactly was said. Because for me, it symbolized how much we have grown in our brother/sister relationship over the last 3 or 4 years. It's the relationship I've wanted for us for a long time. And on his birthday, I am filled with so much love, respect, and joy that I get to share this life with my brother, Brad. 

Brad,

Happy Birthday! I am so proud of you. For always doing what you want, how you want, and when you want. For fulfilling your hockey career as you did. For impacting lives the way you do. And for choosing and pursuing a career that is what YOU want to do, not what you feel you HAVE to do. You are an amazing man, friend, and brother. And I am so excited to see what the future holds for you, for our family, and for us. (And don't get made me at me and roll your eyes when you read this with all its gushing, sappy, heartfelt sentiments!)

Enjoy your day! 

xo

Melissa

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my Dad's birthday. I am so happy that I get to be home from China to help him celebrate his birthday and to make him feel just as special as he makes me feel every single day of the week. See, here's the thing...I'll let you in on a little secret: I HAVE THE BEST DAD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!! Whether it's lending a helping hand to anyone in need, or cracking a joke at the best possible moment which surely makes everyone smile - my dad has the most generous, kindest, happiest soul and I feel so lucky every day to get to call him my father. 

I have written a blog post in honour of my Dad for the last 2 years (here and here - I brag a lot about my Dad). Today, I want to add to the growing list that let's you all in on the amazingness that is my dad. 

Dad, here's to you: 

-- You give the greatest, warmest hugs known to man. I'll always remember how you, Mom and I embraced each other when I arrived home from my first year in China at 3am at the Fredericton airport. We cried, we hugged, and I know everyone around us was jealous of the love our family has for each other. 

-- You have amazing patience. I don't think there has ever been a time in my life where I've heard you raise your voice or get red-in-the-face mad. Really, though! You are calm, level headed, and give sound advice even in the most stressful of times. I can't say I inherited every bit of the quality from you, but I certainly learned how to be patient from the best. 

-- You are so kind to others. Maybe that's why you are so fantastic at your career. You offer a friendly face, you bend over backwards for just about anyone deserving of your generosity, and you are loved amongst your family, friends, and community because of it. I so admire this trait about you. 

-- You like good music. That's all. 

-- Our Skype dates I look forward to so much. Mostly because I feel so loved, at ease, and warm afterwards. We never hang up on a bad note. In fact, we always hang up laughing because we've started this whacky, new tradition where we make faces, funny actions, and act like fools until Mom finally says "Ok, love you! Goodnight!" I love those moments. I will always cherish those moments. 

I love you, Dad! Happiest of birthdays to you. May you feel as special, loved, and warm as you make everyone else around you feel. 

xo

Around My Neck, Always & Forever.

My Grandad remains an inspiration in my life today. He motivates me to take big steps, and I always think about how proud he might be of my strides and what he might say of my successes since his passing. It has been three years since he died and not a day goes by still that I don't think of him. Each day starts with him. Before leaving the house and starting my day, I put on my heart-shaped necklace and he's always with me. 

On the day of his burial three years ago, my Grandmom gave me a necklace in a velvet drawstring bag.

This necklace is similar to a locket, but in a different way. Instead of being filled with a picture, it's filled with a little bit of his ashes. I have one, my Mom has one, and my Grandmom has one. And while he may not be here physically to see me and what I've been doing, he's always around my neck, close to my heart, and on my mind every step of the way. He's also taken some pretty big journey's over the last three years: a move to Calgary, a move to China, vacationing in PEI, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand, as well as quick trips to Shanghai and Datong. He's a pretty lucky man!

On two recent occasions with Amanda, she snapped pictures of me laughing. When we went back and looked at the pictures, she said to me that I looked just like my Grandad when I laughed. She had never had the chance to meet him, but she has seen pictures of him that I have shared and posted and she said that I had the same joyful and happy look on my face when I laughed as he did. 

I think Amanda has a pretty good idea as to how much this small detail means to me. It also means a lot to me that someone who didn't have the chance to meet such an important man in my life can see how we are similar and what an amazing, happy, and strong man he was. And he really was that. During his wake and funeral, people I didn't know and had never met would tell me over and over again how much they enjoyed knowing Grandad and what a pleasure he was to have around. Because he was. He was nice to everyone, he was accepting of so many people, and he was the kindest man. And if I can be a fraction of the person he was and inspire and influence people the way he did, then I can say that I accomplished what I set out to in life and in my experiences.

I've written two other posts on the anniversary of his death in 2012 and 2013 expressing how amazing he was and how I've remembered him over time. I still can't believe he is gone. My life has changed so much since he died on May 9th, 2011 and I wish all the time he could be with me and my family. While I know he was proud of me and supported me constantly during the first 22 years of my life, I often wonder and struggle with the ideas and thoughts that he didn't get to see me and know me at my full potential. And I'm still growing. I love the person I am today more than the person I was back then. I am finally doing the things I had always wanted to do, and I am proving to myself and others the potential and talents I have. I know he saw me succeed, I just wish I could show him more. 

And I don't wish this just for me, I wish it for my entire my family. Grandmom, Uncle David, Mom, Dad, Brad, Mark, Carolin, Rebecca, and Rachel. This tight-knit group and the potential, talents, abilities, strengths, and creativity we have as a whole is amazing. It's inspiring. And without Grandad and the influence and leadership he showed us over his lifetime, none of us would be where we are today without him. He was and still is a great man. And I am so thankful to call him MY Grandad. My rock. I love him, always and forever.