Friday, May 9, 2014

Around My Neck, Always & Forever.

My Grandad remains an inspiration in my life today. He motivates me to take big steps, and I always think about how proud he might be of my strides and what he might say of my successes since his passing. It has been three years since he died and not a day goes by still that I don't think of him. Each day starts with him. Before leaving the house and starting my day, I put on my heart-shaped necklace and he's always with me. 

On the day of his burial three years ago, my Grandmom gave me a necklace in a velvet drawstring bag.

This necklace is similar to a locket, but in a different way. Instead of being filled with a picture, it's filled with a little bit of his ashes. I have one, my Mom has one, and my Grandmom has one. And while he may not be here physically to see me and what I've been doing, he's always around my neck, close to my heart, and on my mind every step of the way. He's also taken some pretty big journey's over the last three years: a move to Calgary, a move to China, vacationing in PEI, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand, as well as quick trips to Shanghai and Datong. He's a pretty lucky man!


On two recent occasions with Amanda, she snapped pictures of me laughing. When we went back and looked at the pictures, she said to me that I looked just like my Grandad when I laughed. She had never had the chance to meet him, but she has seen pictures of him that I have shared and posted and she said that I had the same joyful and happy look on my face when I laughed as he did. 

I think Amanda has a pretty good idea as to how much this small detail means to me. It also means a lot to me that someone who didn't have the chance to meet such an important man in my life can see how we are similar and what an amazing, happy, and strong man he was. And he really was that. During his wake and funeral, people I didn't know and had never met would tell me over and over again how much they enjoyed knowing Grandad and what a pleasure he was to have around. Because he was. He was nice to everyone, he was accepting of so many people, and he was the kindest man. And if I can be a fraction of the person he was and inspire and influence people the way he did, then I can say that I accomplished what I set out to in life and in my experiences.

I've written two other posts on the anniversary of his death in 2012 and 2013 expressing how amazing he was and how I've remembered him over time. I still can't believe he is gone. My life has changed so much since he died on May 9th, 2011 and I wish all the time he could be with me and my family. While I know he was proud of me and supported me constantly during the first 22 years of my life, I often wonder and struggle with the ideas and thoughts that he didn't get to see me and know me at my full potential. And I'm still growing. I love the person I am today more than the person I was back then. I am finally doing the things I had always wanted to do, and I am proving to myself and others the potential and talents I have. I know he saw me succeed, I just wish I could show him more. 

And I don't wish this just for me, I wish it for my entire my family. Grandmom, Uncle David, Mom, Dad, Brad, Mark, Carolin, Rebecca, and Rachel. This tight-knit group and the potential, talents, abilities, strengths, and creativity we have as a whole is amazing. It's inspiring. And without Grandad and the influence and leadership he showed us over his lifetime, none of us would be where we are today without him. He was and still is a great man. And I am so thankful to call him MY Grandad. My rock. I love him, always and forever. 

1 comment:

  1. This is a beautiful post and I know it's honouring a wonderful man. I wish I had the chance to meet him, but I'm happy I get to know him through you.