NOT Worrying.

Amanda had this print in her apartment the last time I visited. I pointed at it and said "I like that. A lot." Later in the week, she sent me the print. I have since printed it off and placed it on my bookshelf so I see it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. (I plan to put it in a frame, but that's not a 5-minute kind of errand to Wal-Mart here in Beijing). 

Life can be stressful. Life can throw all kinds of curveballs. I can freely admit (and people who know me well will agree) that I am a controlling person. I have a hard time letting go. I have always had a hard time giving up control and delegating. I know how I want things to be done, and I can see the finished product ahead, and I feel more comfortable completing it myself then letting others do it because I don't want them to let me down and I don't want to make them feel stressed by my looming over them. How controlling of me was it to say that? And reading it back it sounds so harsh! But I think that (maybe?) other people who have these controlling characteristics like I do can relate and agree. 

Let me rephrase what I mean. I have a tendency to delegate and let others help, and then in the end I tweak and redo things. In return, that probably makes them feel bad, frustrated, angry, and annoyed. And on my end I feel anxious, sad, frustrated, and annoyed. 

So, since seeing this print in Amanda's apartment, I'm trying harder to remind myself to not worry about things so much. To not be so controlling. If you can't fix it or do anything to make it better, stop worrying about it. If you can fix it and make things better, then don't worry about it. Everything gets done in time. Stop stressing so much. 

In fact, I've started showing other people this print in my room when I hear them getting stressy. I don't know if it is impacting them the same way it is impacting me, but I think it's starting to make a difference in my life. 

Print by elisejoy.com 

Life is Chaos

My life can be quite an adventure. In fact, sometimes it can only be described as chaos. I’m sure there are a lot of you reading and nodding your head up in down in agreement with this feeling. Easter weekend just past, and I ventured to my hometown for four days of relaxation, spending time with family, and getting caught up on sleep. What a great weekend!

Mom and Dad’s 25^th anniversary was on the 4^th of April. This is a pretty big milestone in their lives, and my brother and I both agreed that we should do a little more for them on their anniversary then we have in the past. So, after calling all my family members and combining our funds, we purchased my mother and father a new pub-style dining set. Here begins the recent chaos of my life.

As the clock struck 3:45 on last Thursday afternoon, I packed up my book bag and headed home from school. Not being proactive in my organization of the afternoon, I had yet to pack a suitcase to go home with. I was on a time constraint as the warehouse where I had to pick up the dining set closed at 5pm and the neighbour who kindly offered to hide it for me needed to leave his house at 6pm. After rushing home and throwing necessities for the weekend in my suitcase willy-nilly, I rushed out the front door yelling, “Have fun in Montreal!” to my roommate Amanda as I probably slammed the door behind me.

Oops, I forgot that 4:30 traffic in Fredericton can be insane – and that’s just what it was! I watched the clock tick minute by minute as I hit every red light possible and got stuck behind the slowest of drivers (or so it seemed, considering I was in such a rush). Getting to the furniture store at 4:45pm, I sped walked into the store to pay the remaining balance on the bill. Of course there was a customer in front of me telling the cashier her life story (might I add, the only cashier on duty, as well). I waited, arms folded, foot taping, watching the clock tick minute by minute edging closer to 5pm.

The debit card machine read “Accepted” and I fled the store to get to the warehouse with ten minutes left on the clock. I’m terrible with directions, and feared that I wouldn’t be able to find the building. After driving past the street it resided on, I u-turned and parked my car in front of the garage doors with five minutes left on the clock. I had made it and everything would be ok.

Nope. Wrong. Of course the table was about an inch and a half too big to fit into my puny car. The loading guys looked at me and smirked a bit after witnessing my distress. I remember saying “You guys need to figure out a way to get this into my car. I have no other option. It has to get home this weekend.” They hummed and hawed and I finally suggested that they take it out of the box. They warned me it could get damaged, but I said that as long as they were careful putting it in, I’m sure it will make it home safely. So, they ripped the tape off the box and carefully placed the table into the trunk of my car. I thanked them for their patience and zoomed off towards home.

Pulling into the driveway after dropping the table and chairs off to my friendly neighbour, Jay so he could assemble them for us, I sighed a huge sigh and became overwhelmed with anticipation to successfully pull of this surprise for my parents.

*Beep beep* My iPhone goes off the next afternoon. I read a text from Jay. “Can you call me?” Cue pit in stomach. Jay asks if I could look in my car for a package of washers and bolts that might have fallen out of a box into my car. I already knew that there would be nothing in my car, but I took a look anyway. As I suspected, the package got left behind in Fredericton when they took the table out of the box. My mind was screaming. I was sure the surprise was over.

But, Jay being level-headed, put the chairs together and positioned the table perfectly on top of the old stools so we could still surprise my parents. After having a wonderful supper out at a restaurant called “The Crow’s Nest” we came home to new furniture. Once Mom and Dad realized what was going on, yells of “Is this really for us?” and “You’re kidding me!” filled the room. I was so relieved that the surprise was pulled off despite a few bumps in the road. I am also so grateful for the help that Jay gave both Brad and I, cause I know if I had been putting them together, I would have given up after five minutes.  

Moral of the story: expect the unexpected and be thankful for kind neighbours. 

Breath.

I may have picked a terrible time to start a blog.

Tomorrow begins my final week of classes before starting my internship as a teacher. So, the workload is overwhelming and sometimes it feels like something is going to be forgotten or something won't get done in time.

It's times like these where I need to remind myself that life keeps chugging along and everything always gets done.

My friendly reminder for the night:

Wish me luck.