Thursday, October 23, 2014

NOT Worrying.

Amanda had this print in her apartment the last time I visited. I pointed at it and said "I like that. A lot." Later in the week, she sent me the print. I have since printed it off and placed it on my bookshelf so I see it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. (I plan to put it in a frame, but that's not a 5-minute kind of errand to Wal-Mart here in Beijing). 

Life can be stressful. Life can throw all kinds of curveballs. I can freely admit (and people who know me well will agree) that I am a controlling person. I have a hard time letting go. I have always had a hard time giving up control and delegating. I know how I want things to be done, and I can see the finished product ahead, and I feel more comfortable completing it myself then letting others do it because I don't want them to let me down and I don't want to make them feel stressed by my looming over them. How controlling of me was it to say that? And reading it back it sounds so harsh! But I think that (maybe?) other people who have these controlling characteristics like I do can relate and agree. 

Let me rephrase what I mean. I have a tendency to delegate and let others help, and then in the end I tweak and redo things. In return, that probably makes them feel bad, frustrated, angry, and annoyed. And on my end I feel anxious, sad, frustrated, and annoyed. 

So, since seeing this print in Amanda's apartment, I'm trying harder to remind myself to not worry about things so much. To not be so controlling. If you can't fix it or do anything to make it better, stop worrying about it. If you can fix it and make things better, then don't worry about it. Everything gets done in time. Stop stressing so much. 

In fact, I've started showing other people this print in my room when I hear them getting stressy. I don't know if it is impacting them the same way it is impacting me, but I think it's starting to make a difference in my life. 

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1 comment:

  1. Hooray! I'm so glad it's helping you. I should probably tape it to my mirror so I see it more often.