I had a wonderful Skype date with my dear friend Cara last night. She's from Vermont - Amanda and I went to visit her a few weeks ago during our week off of school (blogpost to come).
During our conversation, Cara told me a story about an interaction she had with her mother wherein her mom gave some wise words of wisdom without intentionally meaning to. Here is what she said to her:
"You can't always be so cautious, sometimes you have to jump."
I was speechless. All I could say to Cara in the moment was that I really needed to hear that. You see, I've made a pretty big decision in my life recently concerning my future. At the end of July, I'll be packing up my things and saying "So long" to New Brunswick and "Hello!" to Alberta. I've been yearning for a new adventure, and wanted to think of myself as someone who could just pack up and leave on my own. However, the more I thought to myself about it and the more I tried to convince others around me that I could do it, the more I realized and felt like it's just not for me. It's too much out of my comfort zone. I beat myself up about this, and often compared myself to my close friends who have experienced adventure after adventure. I thought myself a coward and immature. I was being cautious.
Then, I woke up and saw the bigger picture. Many of my close friends who have been on these adventures have different circumstances in their life. They went away with loved ones, are more experienced in travelling, and have a different relationship with their family. Thought I've travelled outside of New Brunswick, I've never lived anywhere else…and New Brunswick is a small province. On top of that, I hail from a small town of 1500 where (almost) everybody knows your name (or your family). Moving to a larger province and to a HUGE city compared to my small town life is going to be a big step. And no one is expecting me to do it alone except for…me! I was being to hard on myself. I still at times think that I should have sucked it up and just done it alone, but when a friend expressed her interest in moving out west, I jumped at the opportunity to partner up with her and presented her the idea of becoming roommates and taking this adventure together. Here lies the jumping.
Which leads us to today. Plans are rolling along and this small town country girl is about to become a big time city girl.
Excited? Yes!
Happy? Yes!
Anxious? OH YES!
Nervous? You bet!
All part of the adventure? Most definitely!
One of your best posts yet! And I really needed to read it right now :)
ReplyDeleteAww. Thanks! I'm glad you connected with it :)
DeleteNever any doubt in my mind that you could do this alone or otherwise. You have always been so hard on yourself. We are all going to miss you dearly but I think this is the right decision for you and you will love it. I am soooo proud of you!!!
ReplyDeleteI love you, Mom!
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