Last night, I went back and looked at my blog post that I wrote when I turned 23. I was surprised at myself because I got slightly emotional. Then, I went back and looked at the photos from my 23rd birthday. And I got even more emotional. I think it's because my 23rd birthday was filled with love. I have never felt more love all at one time in my life. This year will be my first birthday away from home - the first time I won't celebrate my birthday with my family, and without some of my closest and best friends. And those thoughts break my heart a little bit.
Honestly, I didn't expect myself to get emotional prior to my birthday. I didn't expect to feel any emotions at all out of the ordinary. But here I am finding myself feeling anxious. I think a lot of it is stemming from the anticipation of how I'll feel through the day today. All I want to do is eat a delicious meal, spend time with friends, and forgot about the fact that I'm getting older. So, I'm pulling up my socks and will take the time in the rest of this post to reflect on the last year...
If there could be a theme for my twenty-third year, I would choose "surprises." I surprised myself a lot over the last year. I think that since turning 22, my emotions have changed. I often make quick jokes about how I wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I've become more open with talking about my feelings, and I'm a firm believer that they are better out then in. I guess you could say I'm "less in my head." So, in saying this, when I decided to move to the other side of the country, I didn't think my emotions could handle it. And thus far, I've made out just fine. I love my job, I love exploring this new city (with some of the most amazing people...you know who you are), I've made new friends and created stronger relationships with those I had already acquainted myself with, I reunited with some old high school friends, and I am quickly learning what it means to be an "adult." But I'm certain there is much more to learn. I've matured in a new way, and I'm surprised at how well I've handled it.
My twenty-third year also saw a second degree, goodbyes and see you laters, a whole lot of tears but an equal amount of laughter, new beginnings, my first apartment to myself, a cross-country trip, money struggles and triumphs, connecting with family from far away, sight seeing in the west, a health scare with my eyes, long talks about life, love, and the future, weight loss, dancing, road trips with best friends, and life full of love.
Though I'm sad to not be surrounded by my family on my birthday, I'm blessed to have great friends here in Calgary to celebrate with. I'm blessed to be surrounded by love. Because in the words of my idol, Michael Jackson, "Love Lives Forever."
Here's to my twenty-fourth year. May it be just life-changing and profound as my twenty third.